


The Dalish and the Halla

by Debb11121



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 03:06:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6498310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Debb11121/pseuds/Debb11121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orana arrives in Kirkwall scared and alone, with little more than the clothes on her back and the vague promise of a job. Here, she meets Merrill and strikes up a friendship, at first thinking the other elf is another of Master Hawke's servants. Things develop and friendship slowly becomes something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Master Hawke was very strange. Between insisting on paying her, giving her her own room and taking her shopping - shopping, the only shopping slaves were meant to do was for their Masters - Orana doesn't know what to make of the man.

It's been days since she turned up on the doorstep of the Hawke estate after being told to go there. Kirkwall is big and it very nearly overwhelms her. The streets look the same, the people mostly ignore her when she tries to ask for directions. What few that do answer wrinkle their nose and mutter something about Hawke being 'unconventional'. She eventually finds the house, after hours of wandering the streets and finally coming upon a guard who could direct her. 

She's greeted by a dwarf who doesn't know just what to do, but allows her to stay there at the mention of Master Hawke. He'll be able to tell them what's going on.  
The dwarf seems to be another servant. He prepares a meal for her, insists on doing so and while he does that, the lady of the house sets a place at the table for her, something else that takes her completely by surprise. Despite the gnawing hunger, she can't remember when she did last eat, she waits until the lady of the house gives her permission. 

Master Hawke returns a day later, blood covered, tired and seemingly having forgotten what he's told her. A few tense moments later in which she's sure she's going to be back on the first boat to Tevinter, Master Hawke remembers that yes, he did tell her to come here and that he'd give her a job. Though the 'job' part is something she can't quite believe. Who gives a slave a job? Nonetheless, she's handed a pouch of coin while the dwarf, Bodahn is told to make up a room for her once she's chosen one. With that, Master Hawke retreats to his own room.

In the first few days, she's up at dawn cleaning the house and doing the cooking when everyone else awakens. She's tired but she keeps working, this is nothing new for her. It takes her mind off the homesickness, the grief and how much she misses her Papa. She can choke back the tears, keep her head down and get on with her work, hoping that no one will notice. 

When she sees another elf it comes as a welcome sight. It's something familiar. In Tevinter, there were plenty of elves around, in her Mistress's home, in the slave markets, or in the streets trailing after their own masters. She doesn't realise she's been standing there, watching this elf until the other elf notices her and waves cheerfully, beaming at her.

"Oh, hello. I didn't see you there," she greets her and gets up, brushing the dirt off of her knees. "Hawke said he'd taken on a new servant even if Fenris didn't look very pleased. Not that he ever looks pleased about anything..." She pauses, curses herself quietly. "Sorry, I haven't even introduced myself or asked your name yet. I'm Merrill."  
Orana tries not to look as nervous as she feels, her heart hammering against her chest, even if it does strike her as odd that this elf would refer to the Master as simply 'Hawke'. "O-Orana..." she mutters, then diverts her gaze to the ground.  
"Nice to meet you." Merrill approaches her, tilts her head curiously. "You can look at me you know." She pauses again. "Oh, stupid me, that's right. Hawke said you used to be a slave."  
Orana nods, for the moment still not looking at her. 

She briefly risks a glance to Merrill, finds the bright smile she'd been wearing a few moments before has dimmed somewhat.   
"Is this...one of your duties?" she asks, looking over to the flowerbed Merrill had been tending to moments before.  
"I suppose it is, seems to have fallen to me to do it." Merrill turns back to it, arms folded across her chest. "Hawke's mother, Leandra, likes to tend to them as well, it keeps her busy when Hawke is out doing all sorts. Hawke is just plain useless, when it comes to it. Give him a slaver or something to kill and he's fine, give him a plant, different matter." Merrill faces her once more. "Do you want to help?" The smile is back, bright as ever and undeterred.  
She glances to the front door of the estate, her duties are mostly done for the day. She's cleaned the house, made some food for Mistress Hawke and fed the dog, there's nothing else for her to do, not until Hawke returns.  
She nods and Merrill leads her to the garden.

She kneels down at the flowerbed, Merrill at her side and watches as the other elf deftly digs holes in the dirt, plants the flowers and finishes off by giving each one some water. While this had never been one of her duties before, really Orana isn't exactly sure just what she's doing, Merrill is patient and shows her how to plant them, how much water to give each one and how to tend to the others. When they're done, the flowerbeds are awash with colour. Merrill stands up, puts her hands on her hips, nodding as she looks the garden over.   
"A job well done, I think," Merrill remarks then helps her to her feet. "Do you think it looks all right?"   
She nods quickly. "It's...beautiful..." she says.  
"Aw that's sweet of you. You helped too remember, not just me who can take the credit for it." She looks down at her hands. "Better go and get cleaned up. Don't want to leave muddy handprints all over Hawke's nice clean house."  
Orana nods again and Merrill follows her back into the house through the servants' entrance. 

"Elgar'nan...How does Hawke keep this place so clean?" Merrill remarks while Orana fills a basin with water and retrieves some cloth. If nothing else, she's learned quickly where everything is. "Look at this." Merrill runs a finger along one of the tables. "Spotless! Three years I've been in my house and I never get it anywhere near this nice looking." She pouts at the thought of it and Orana finds herself stifling a giggle.   
One thing Merrill says has her confused however. "You have a house?"  
Merrill nods. "Hawke helped me find it and get started when I first left the clan three years ago. Well, more than that now." She offers another a smile. "He's very kind, he'll treat you well I'm sure."

Everything Merrill says only serves to confuse her more. A clan? Of course she'd heard of the Dalish elves from her Papa, yet for the most part she thought they were myth, didn't exist. Yet here was Merrill, telling her she was one of them and not only that, but that she'd left them to come and work for Hawke. She almost wishes she was back in Tevinter. Almost.

She sets the basin down, hands Merrill some of the cloth and scrubs the dirt from her own hands. She glances to Merrill again, then swallows, determined to strike up a conversation with the other elf. "Do you like it here?" she says. It's the first thing that can think of to ask and it's something that's been on her mind too.

Merrill gives a slight shrug. "For the most part. It was strange at first, I'd lived in Ferelden all my life then Sundermount after we left during the Blight." She takes her hands out of the basin, finds another cloth and starts to dry them off. "I miss it sometimes, the trees, the fresh air, the sounds of the rest of the clan. It took a while to get used to Kirkwall's sounds, everything seemed so busy and crowded, especially in the Alienage." She puts the cloth down and faces Orana once more. "Do you find that?"  
She nods. "It's so quiet, I thought there would be more slaves...servants around the house." She takes the cloth Merrill has just discarded and puts it into a basket. "Everything is...different here, I just hope I don't disappoint Master Hawke."  
"I'm sure you won't." Merrill pats her shoulder lightly. "The only other ones here are Bodahn and his son, even then that was Hawke's mother's idea to have them stay here." She heads for the door and looks back to her. "Are you coming up?"  
Orana nods and follows Merrill.

They head back into main hall of the house where Bodahn is already there. He nods in greeting to her. "Ah, I thought I saw you outside. Messere Hawke is out at the moment, nothing the matter is there?" Bodahn says.  
Merrill shakes her head. "Oh no, just dealing with the garden and getting to know Orana here."   
"Very good. Mistress Leandra does enjoy tending to it." Bodahn looks up at one of the windows for a moment. "Speaking of whom, she should be back soon and I'd better get started on dinner."  
"I should probably get back home too, don't want to get in the way after all." Merrill turns to leave, waving over her shoulder and calling out a goodbye to Bodahn and to her. That takes her by surprise.  
"She's a lovely girl Merrill, yet for some reason Master Hawke worries for her," Bodahn remarks, beginning to make his way to the kitchen. Orana follows him, ready to help out where needed.  
"Does he always worry about his servants?" she asks. Bodahn is one of the few she feels something like comfortable talking to.  
"Hm? Servants?" Bodahn raises an eyebrow. "Merrill isn't one of the servants. From what I understand, Master Hawke has known her since he came to Kirkwall."  
Oh Maker...Merrill was a guest in the house and wasn't treated properly? Orana feels a cold pit grow in her stomach. No matter how good Master Hawke has been to her, he surely won't forgive this.   
She says nothing more and merely follows Bodahn into the kitchen.

~

Master Hawke returns that night and Orana heats some of the dinner Bodahn has left for him. She doesn't dare meet his eye, she knows Bodahn has told him of her mistake or at the very least mentioned it. Sooner or later he's going to speak to her about it, punish her somehow, if anything she'd rather he got it over with. Papa always said the same thing, that waiting was sometimes worse, though she never believed him, few and far between times he ever was punished by the Magister for anything.

"Orana," Master Hawke says.   
She jumps, lost in her own thoughts and drops the plate she's been clearing away. It smashes on the floor and she curses herself. Something else for him to be annoyed at. A fine start this is.  
It's Master Hawke who apologises then gets up and leaves, returning a moment later with a brush and a box to put the remainders of the plate in it. "Well I can't say I was ever fond of that plate anyway," Master Hawke jokes. He looks up to her, sees the expression on her face, the plain dread and he sighs, getting up from the floor.  
He sits back down and gestures to the chair next to him. "Bodahn says Merrill was here earlier," he begins. She sits on the chair, still doesn't meet his eye, her gaze set firmly on the wood of the table. "Orana, look at me, please." She obeys. "You're not in trouble, really."  
She blinks then stares at him. "But...she was a guest and I didn't..."  
He holds a hand up to stop her. "Merrill knows where everything is in the house, probably better than what I do. You don't need to wait on her, or anyone that comes into the house hand and foot."  
"I...Yes, Master." Again, she drops her head.  
He groans slightly. "Something else we still need to work on." He pushes the chair out, gets up from the table. "You're doing fine so far, try not to worry so much. Bodahn or Mother will keep you right."  
She simply nods, taken aback that she's not in trouble and he's being so good about it.

Master Hawke leaves, telling her she has the rest of the night off and can get to bed early, make up for the early start she had. It seems nothing escapes his notice within the house. Again, she does as she's told, settling down in her room for the night.

~~~


	2. Chapter 2

It's another few weeks before she meets Merrill again. Once more it's in Hightown when she's returning from doing some shopping for Mistress Hawke. Merrill is standing in the middle of the street, looking around her and chews on her lip as she spins around then starts to walk one way. She halts, turns back and returns to where she was a moment before. There she stays for the time being, dodging passersby while they go about their business to and from the market.

Orana holds back, debating whether to approach or not. Despite that she has been growing more confident now that she's getting used to how everything works in the Hawke estate, she still feels a churning in her stomach. Should she be so bold as to approach Merrill? Was that the done thing here, for servants to start up a conversation with friends of their masters?  
She feels her heart pound faster as she considers the idea, Merrill does look lost and perhaps she can help out somehow. She's spared however when Merrill spots her, gives her a friendly wave and trots over, a cheerful smile on her face.

"Hello again, Orana wasn't it?" Merrill greets her.  
She nods, and out of habit lowers her head. It's one thing she still finds herself doing, even after the assurances of Mistress and Master Hawke.  
"Gone shopping, have you? Get anything nice?"  
Orana looks down at the bags. "Oh! Yes, Mistress Hawke asked me to get some food. She thinks Master Anders isn't eating well and Master Hawke is worried about it. Mistress hopes it'll put his mind at rest."  
"Aw that's nice of her. Leandra is such a lovely woman." Merrill casts a glance to the bags. "Do you want some help carrying them? I've nothing to do and I think I'm a bit lost. Perhaps if I find my way to Hawke's house, I can get my bearings, find my way back to the Alienage."  
"I could take you, if you like." She blurts it out without thinking. She has learned the way to the Alienage the times she's accompanied Mistress Hawke to visit Lowtown then sent her back to the estate.  
It seems to have taken Merrill by surprise too. "You could?"  
Finding courage from somewhere, Orana nods. "I'll need to take these back to Mistress Hawke first, but I can take you there afterwards."  
Merrill beams at her. "Oh you are wonderful! I knew I shouldn't have left that ball of twine Varric gave me at home. I thought I'd learned my way about by now." Her smile grows even wider when Orana smiles too, a blush creeping over the younger elf's cheeks as she once more diverts her gaze to the bags at her feet. Merrill moves forward, hand outstretched. "Here, let me help you with that," she says and picks up what looks to be one of the heavier bags.

Merrill chats to her all the way as they walk back to Hawke’s estate. It puts her at ease and she nods and smiles and the journey back passes quickly. Merrill goes in first, Orana following her and she directs Merrill to the kitchen. Master Hawke is right enough, Merrill does know the way better than what Hawke does. Her new Master seems rather useless when it comes to finding his way around and it hasn’t been the first time he’s walked into a cupboard only to walk back out again red-faced, claiming he meant to do it.

They leave the estate and Orana takes the lead, Merrill trotting behind her.  
“Are you settling in any better these days?” Merrill asks, breaking the silence that has fallen between them.  
Orana nods. “I am. Master Hawke has been good to me, though he is very strange.”  
Merrill cocks her head to the side. “Strange? How so? Not that Hawke isn’t strange sometimes. Like all of that running around, I’m sure he gets lost and just doesn’t like to say, especially in the Wounded Coast.” She pauses and rubs the back of her neck. “Sorry, I ask you a question then I don’t give you time to answer it.”  
“I don’t mind. No one really took the time to talk to me much before, besides my Papa. And the Magister when she was telling us what to do.” Orana shrugs slightly. “I like listening to others talking, it breaks the quiet in the mansion.”  
Merrill smiles. “That’s good. I told you Hawke would treat you well, far better than what you’ve been treated so far.”  
“Papa kept me out of the way most of the time.”  
“Sorry.” Merrill pauses then chews on her lip for a moment. “Do you miss him much? Your father?”  
Orana nods. “Sometimes. Most of the time I just try and not think about it. But when it gets quiet and I can’t sleep…” She sighs. “Do you not miss the other elves of your…clan, was it?”  
Merrill nods too. “I miss them. There’s times I miss the Keeper, even though we didn’t get along that well and she was forever giving me into trouble for one thing or another. But I miss her scolding, miss the trouble my clanmates and I could get into.”  
Orana giggles. “I can’t imagine you getting into trouble. You seemed so...sensible when I met you before and I don't know, just not the type.” It takes her a moment to realize what she’s said and she wonders if she’s spoken out of turn.  
Merrill laughs and shakes her head. “Me? Creators no. Do you know how long I spent wandering around the city before I got here? I thought I’d be wandering around for days. Or at least until Hawke found me or I got to the Hanged Man then Varric would take me home.”  
Orana laughs too and in turn, Merrill’s smile lights up her face and she pats Orana’s shoulder. “It’s nice to see you smile. You deserve to be happy, after the start you’ve had in life, being a slave and all.”  
Orana blushes and looks away. She can almost hear Merrill cringing.  
“Sorry, did I say something wrong?”  
“No, no, of course not. I’m not used…” She trails off, unsure of what she means to say or even what she hasn’t got used to yet.  
“To kindness from anyone?” Her smile is gentle now and she slips an arm around Orana’s shoulders, giving one a quick squeeze.  
And that’s exactly it. She isn’t used to kindness, not from Merrill, not from Master Hawke nor Master Anders or Mistress Hawke. She isn’t used to being treated as a person with thoughts and opinions on matters. She isn’t used to not being a slave.

They head through the rest of the city, Merrill immediately on her guard when the reach Lowtown. A few times Merrill halts her, gently pushing her back a few steps while Merrill reaches for her staff. There is nothing there and they continue on, Orana more than a little shaken.

When they reach the Alienage, the huge tree in the middle of the square catches Orana's eye and she wanders over to it. At the base of it, it is covered with brightly coloured paint and white vines, while surrounding it are lamps placed on boxes. She doesn't hear Merrill approach her once more and when she speaks, it makes Orana jump. 

"The city elves call it the Tree of the People, it's one of the few things they still have. We have so little left of our history, our culture. One of my clanmates found what seemed to be evidence of elves living underground once, like the dwarves. I saw it myself, but at that time we were more concerned with finding our other clanmate." She sighs. "Come on, my house is over here if you'd like to see it."  
Orana casts a last glance to the tree then follows Merrill.

The house is small but open. The furniture is sparse, placed around the edges and there's a room to the side that Orana guesses is Merrill's bedroom. She holds back, standing at the door and waits for Merrill's permission to enter and sit down.  
It takes a moment for Merrill to realise what Orana is doing while she stands, her head down, eyes fixed on the floor.  
"Oh Orana, come in. Sit, don't just stand at the door. You'll get cold, there's a terrible draft coming in from underneath, never could fix it. Every bit of cloth I put at it ends up stolen," Merrill tells her. She is busy at one end of the room, rifling through a box until she produces a red ball of twine.  
"Do you want a drink? It's only water, though there might be some wine that Hawke left me. Somewhere."  
Orana shakes her head. "No, no. Water's fine."  
Merrill disappears once more, then returns with the glass. Orana thanks her and follows Merrill to the bench in the middle of the room, where she waits until she's invited to sit down.  
"It's not much, but it's home," Merrill tells her. She smiles and gives a slight shrug.  
Orana says nothing, holding the glass of water in her lap. Home to her is still Tevinter, much as she tries to think of it otherwise and she's sure that Merrill will not understand that she thinks of it so even now.  
Merrill waits until she's finished her water then stands up from the bench. "Right, I'd better get you back to Hawke's," she says.  
"But won't you get lost again?"  
She shakes her head and holds up the ball of twine. "Not with this. Varric gave it to me after he found me wandering around lost again. I won't lose my way when I have this. And Lowtown isn't a place for you to be wandering alone. I'll walk you back."  
Orana doesn't argue with her and Merrill drops her off at Hawke's estate.

~~~


	3. Chapter 3

For a while, it seems as if Merrill is at Master Hawke's estate almost every other day. Master Anders seems to take most umbrage with this as he grumbles about it over dinner and complains to Master Hawke about it. Master Hawke on the other hand simply seems pensive over the matter, saying little to Master Ander's complaints and only insisting that Merrill is not what she seems. Orana can't help but wonder just what he means there.

She's putting laundry away when she finds Merrill once again. The other elf is standing in the hall, speaking to the dog and doesn't notice her enter. Orana puts down the clothes basket and approaches Merrill.  
"Master Hawke isn't here if that's who you're looking for, Mistress Merrill," Orana tells her.  
Merrill straightens from kneeling down to the dog's level. "Oh no, it wasn't Hawke I was after this time, it was you," Merrill answers with a smile.  
"Though, please, don't call me 'Mistress'. It makes me sound so old."  
"Sorry Mistr...I mean Merrill." It dawns on her then what Merrill has said. "You're looking for me?"  
Merrill nods and produces a small bag. "Here, this is a thank you for getting me back to the Alienage in one piece the other day." 

Orana blinks at her, looking between the proffered bag and Merrill herself. For a few moments, she doesn't know what to do.  
Merrill's smile starts to fade. "Have I done something wrong?"  
Orana shakes her head quickly. "No! No...It's just I've never...What do I...do with it?"  
Merrill puts the bag down then fishes out the items. She can't see what's enclosed in Merrill's hand but there is a potted plant with a few buds sprouting and a flower just beginning to open.  
"Well with this, you'll need to water it once a day, possibly more once the warm weather comes in. Needs plenty of sunlight, I know there's a few good windows in here that it would thrive...And that's not what you meant, was it?"  
"I've never had...things of my own. Whatever we needed Mistress Hadriana or one of the other Magisters provided it and even then it was mainly clothes and food."  
"You're not a slave now Orana. You have a job and I know Hawke won't mistreat you the way you were before." Merrill sighs. "It's hard for you to get out of that mindset, isn't it?"  
"Even though it's been more than a month, I still can't get used to it. To being treated as a person instead of just a thing."  
"Do you think you ever will get used to it?"  
S he shrugs. She truly doesn't know.  
Merrill holds out the plant once more and this time Orana takes it. Merrill smiles at her and Orana smiles back shyly, dipping her head. "Well I'd call this a good start. Will you accept what else I have for you?"  
Orana nods.  
To her surprise, Merrill takes a few steps forward and takes Orana's hand, placing a small silver brooch into it. It is a large animal, looking like a deer but elegant, with long twisted antlers and the fur engraved on it.  
"We call it a 'halla'. I thought of you as soon as I saw it. They're shy sometimes, but they are so beautiful. My clanmate loved to spend time with them, there's times I would swear he was part halla, preferred to have a conversation with them than us some days." There's a flash of sadness over Merrill's face, as there always is when she mentions this clanmate of hers in particular. Orana can only guess at what could've happened to them. She shakes her head then pins the brooch onto Orana's blouse. "It suits you."  
Orana looks down and nods in agreement.  
"Right I'd better get going, I only came here to drop this off for you."  
"You're leaving?"  
"I'm afraid so. I would stay longer if I could, do a bit of the garden I see Hawke's neglected yet again. The parts we did are coming along nicely, might need a water later but beyond that, they'll be fine."  
Orana walks her to the door and once there, looks to the ground to check if Varric's ball of twine has followed Merrill to the estate. It has and this sets her mind at rest over Merrill's lack of a sense of direction.  
"I'll probably see you at some point, been meaning to ask Hawke something for a few days now, can't seem to get him on his own without Anders there glaring at me. Slightly off-putting and it always makes me forget."  
Orana simply nods.  
With a pat on the shoulder, ending in a slight squeeze, Merrill jogs across the square while following her red twine, leaving Orana at the door.

~~~


	4. Chapter 4

Sure enough, Merrill finds the time to ask Master Hawke whatever favour she was after. On that same day, Orana returns from shopping to Merrill and Master Hawke shouting at one another.  
"You're just like every other shem I've known here!" Merrill yells.  
She earns a sigh from Hawke while Orana ducks behind the door.  
"I shouldn't have trusted you, why did I ever think you might be different? I'm such a fool."  
"Merrill...If you'd just give me a minute..."  
"No, Hawke. You've tried to explain all the way here and I've had enough of it. I'm going home."

A door slams a moment later and Hawke is heard letting out a frustrated yell. Orana peeks around the door and hides once more when Master Anders appears.  
"I said you couldn't trust her," he tells Hawke. There's an almost smug tone to his voice, an 'I told you so' without coming out and saying it.  
"I still trust her Anders. I'm worried about her," Hawke answers.  
"I don't, I never have. Especially being a blood mage and all. You've seen the rest of them around Kirkwall, it's getting worse all the time. And it gives the rest of the mages a bad name."  
"I don't want to hear about the mages' plight now. Please, just not now."

Master Anders and Master Hawke leave the hallway and Orana creeps out from her hiding place. Merrill, a blood mage? She remembers all too well what happened with Mistress Hadriana. Remembers her father's death, other slaves' deaths when the magisters needed power for one spell or another. Merrill can't be a blood mage, she didn't look, didn't seem the type to lust for power that she'd resort to that.  
Orana knows there's only one way to find out and that's to see Merrill herself. She feels her heart pound at the thought, whatever confidence and ease she'd built up over the past while with Merrill, dissipating. She feels cold at the thought, scared to approach her. She'd never heard Merrill sound so angry before.

And yet, despite the gnawing, the nervousness returning, there's still a desire to make sure Merrill is all right. The Dalish elf has been so kind to her up until now, she's begun to consider her a friend, her first friend in all of Kirkwall. She has to try and see her, find out what's happened.

Orana leaves the estate, leaving a message with Bodahn that she's going. She's sure that Master Hawke won't mind her going, the vast majority of her duties are complete for the day. She hurries through the streets, despite her concern for Merrill she does not want to spend too long in Lowtown. She finds Merrill's home, raises her hand to knock on the door and finds her courage fails her. She stares at the wooden door in front of her, hand poised to knock and all heat seems to leave her body.

She hasn't thought this through, she's surely made a mistake. Why would Merrill want to see her? Master Hawke has known the Dalish elf longer than her, surely he should be the one to patch things up. There's no real reason for her to be here and as she's about to turn and leave, she hears a small sob from behind the door. She stares at the door, has Master Hawke truly upset her that much?  
Orana knocks on the door quietly.

"Go away Hawke! I've had enough of you for one day!" Merrill yells through the door.  
Orana swallows hard. "It's...It's not Master Hawke, it's me. Orana," she answers.  
"Orana?"  
The door opens to reveal Merrill, in all her puffy-eyed, red-faced glory. At the sight of her, Orana acts impulsively. She throws her arms around Merrill's neck and hugs her tightly, this apparently enough to set Merrill off again. They stand in the doorway for a few moments, before Merrill manages to stem the tears long enough to bring Orana inside.

"What happened out there? You sounded so...angry," Orana says. She sits Merrill down on the bench, then looks around for a glass. All she can see is a flask sitting on the floor and after checking it, finds it is indeed water. She hands it to Merrill and sits beside her.  
"I've been such a fool. I thought I could trust Hawke, he's been so good to me until now. I don't understand why he'd turn on me like that," Merrill tells her then takes a sip of the water in the flask.  
Orana frowns at her. "What did he do to you?"  
"I asked him to help me, I had to ask the Keeper something and I thought if I had someone with me, I wouldn't just turn to jelly or argue with her." She stops and sighs. "More fool me. Turns out he's like every other shem." Orana stays quiet and lets Merrill continue. "I was trying to fix something, a mirror my clan found. We found it in the ruin where we lost two of my clanmates before we left Ferelden. I brought it here hoping if I had time, I could fix it. It could teach us about who we were and more about our heritage." She takes another sip of water. "But no. It needed a special tool my clan had and now Hawke has gone and stolen it."  
Orana's frown deepens further. That doesn't sound like Master Hawke. "But if he didn't want to help..."  
"I know! Why would he go to all that trouble?"

Orana chews on her lip. Merrill has known Hawke longer, is this what he'll do to her? When she makes a mistake, if she asks him for help, will be betray her like that? Surely not. From what she's seen of Master Hawke, he would never do that. However, Merrill is here, claiming otherwise. 

"Master Anders said you were...you are a..." Orana begins, then stops. She can't say it.  
Merrill sighs. "He mentioned I'm a blood mage."  
Orana nods.  
"Of course he would. He's never liked me, even all the way through Sundermount all I got was snide comments from him." She puts down the flask. "I don't blame you if you're scared, Orana, after what you went through before coming here. Between your father and all those other poor elves the magisters killed. But I'm not like that, really I'm not. I don't want power over people, I just want...I just want to help my clan."  
The sincerity in Merrill's voice, the way her demeanour has changed when she speaks of it, the slumped shoulders and avoiding Orana's gaze, as if she's the one who's afraid. While Merrill may have admitted it, claiming Master Anders is right, Orana can't believe her. She sees none of the magisters in Merrill, can't ever imagine her murdering anyone and bleeding them just for magic.  
"But...what kind of mirror would need magic to fix?" she says, and why would it cause such friction between Merrill and Master Hawke.  
"We call it an Eluvian. As far as we know, it was used for communication by the elves." Merrill halts and looks over, wistfully almost, to her bedroom. "I've cleansed it and I think I've got all of the taint gone, but..." She shakes her head. "The Arulin'Holm was my last chance of fixing it completely."  
Orana doesn't know what to say, what to do to make it better for Merrill. Instead, she simply hugs her again, in the hope that even this small gesture will go some way to help. For a moment, she thinks Merrill is about to start crying again as she leans into Orana's embrace and her grip tightens on her blouse. She sniffs loudly and briefly squeezes her eyes shut then opens them once more.  
"Oh..." She reaches out and runs a finger along the halla brooch Orana is wearing. "You still have it."  
Orana nods.  
"You're so sweet Orana. Thank you for coming to see me." Merrill gives her a teary smile and stands up from the bench.  
"Will you be all right?" Orana says, then stands up also.  
Merrill nods and gives her face a wipe. "I'll be fine. Just a little set back, I'm sure there's another way to fix the Eluvian." She glances to the door. "I would offer to walk you back..."  
Orana understands immediately. "I'll be all right." She heads to the door and halts briefly, looking back over her shoulder to Merrill. Merrill is already wandering into the bedroom, where Orana assumes this 'Eluvian' is. She leaves quietly without another word.

~~~


	5. Chapter 5

Predictably, Orana doesn't see Merrill around the estate very much after her argument with Master Hawke. She carries on with her duties and Master Hawke doesn't treat her any differently. He has noticed the halla brooch and remarked on it. She's surprised that she's allowed to keep it even after telling Master Hawke it was a gift from Merrill. He simply seems glad that she's found a friend of sorts.

It's weeks before she sees Merrill again, and despite her apprehension, Orana finds herself missing the other elf. Things are tense at the estate, events that she knows nothing of and she can only pick up bits and pieces about the Qunari and blood mages. She's seen the Qunari around when she's accompanying Mistress Hawke, despite for the most part they stay around the docks. Mages however are confined to the Gallows, though they are nothing like the mages she remembers of Tevinter. The mages here remind her of herself when she first arrived, terrified and utterly alone.

When she returns from the market, a bouquet of white lilies are in a vase on one of the tables while Mistress Hawke fusses with them.  
"Oh, those are lovely, Mistress," she says.  
Mistress Hawke nods. "Aren't they? I don't know who they're from, it seems I have a secret admirer."  
"Really? Does Master Hawke know?"  
"Not as far as I know. But he'll worry, like he always does. I can't blame him, not really but he seems to think I should be happy to be cooped up here all the time."  
"You need out Mistress, I know how much you enjoy your walks."  
"Indeed." Mistress Hawke notices the bags she's carrying and approaches her. "Here, let me help you with that. It's another hour before I need to leave and visit Gamlen."

As always Orana is about to protest about the lady of the house doing anything so menial as helping her carry some bags. As always, her protestations are cut off and Mistress Hawke carries half the bags and helps to put them away before she leaves.

This is the last time Orana sees her.

~

It's nightfall when Gamlen comes to the estate looking for Mistress Hawke. Orana doesn't like him. He makes comments and constantly smells of drink.   
"You there! Elf. Where's Leandra? Is she here?" he says upon seeing her.  
Orana squeaks and jumps. She wasn't expecting him to be there in the hall, she didn't even hear him come in.  
"Quickly girl. Answer me! Where's Leandra?"  
Orana shakes her head, her breath shaky and catching in her throat. She wants to hide, to get out of his way and let Master Hawke deal with him. Master Hawke however isn't here.  
She opens her mouth to answer him, to tell him Mistress Leandra isn't there, but no words come out. She simply stands there, becoming more flustered and scared which only serves to frustrate Gamlen more.

She's saved when the doors open and Master Hawke and Master Anders return. They're covered in blood, both looking tired and Gamlen forgets about her completely, striding over to them. Gamlen and Master Hawke exchange words before Master Hawke turns and runs out of the door. Master Anders is after him in seconds. Orana waits till they're gone and flumps to the floor.

It's another week before she sees Master Hawke again.

~

Leandra is dead.

Master Anders returns some hours later. Orana cannot sleep, too worried about Mistress Leandra now that too much time has passed for her simply to be taking a walk. He gathers Bodahn, Sandal and herself and informs them of what's happened. A mage has killed Leandra, Master Hawke is not in a good way, understandably. Orana thinks of her father and wants to cry. She holds back until Master Anders has left and she is back in her own room. Once there, she curls up on her bed, hugs her pillow and sobs into it. 

Mistress Leandra is gone. Master Hawke is gone and Orana can't help but wonder if he's coming back.

~

It's the next day, neither Master Anders nor Master Hawke are back yet. Orana tries to busy herself with work around the house yet nothing seems to take her mind off of what's happened. She wanders around in a daze, mechanically doing the housework, preparing meals for Bodahn and Sandal and putting leftovers for Master Hawke and Master Anders should they decide to return. They do not.

She decides to go for some fresh air, perhaps getting out of the house for a while will help her. She grabs a bag, Bodahn gives her shopping money so as she doesn't spend her own wages on the food, both know Master Hawke would be unhappy about that. 

As she's leaving she trips and falls over something. She doesn't know what it is, not until it squeaks and scrambles to its feet.

"I'm so sorry! Are you all right?" Merrill's voice asks her.  
Orana blinks and finds Merrill's outstretched hand waiting to help her to her feet. It's only now that Orana notices a long scar peeking out from Merrill's arm warmer. A sign of blood magic. Was she really so blind she ignored these signs, or did she truly not notice? She takes Merrill's hand and lets the Dalish pull her to her feet.  
"Is Hawke here?" Merrill says. If Orana didn't know any better, she'd say Merrill looked about as nervous as she felt.  
Orana shakes her head.  
Merrill sighs. "I didn't think he would be. Isabela told me what happened, after several drinks." She chews on her lip. "How is he?"  
"I haven't seen him, Master Anders was the one who told us," Orana tells her quietly. She diverts her gaze, falling back into old habits, shuffling nervously.  
Merrill seems to notice this and she takes Orana's chin and tilts her head up. "Orana, I know you don't agree with what I am, Creators only know I understand why you don't. But please believe me, I'm not like the blood mages you've known." Merrill lets go of her chin. "I don't want to lose you too, I've lost my entire clan because of it."

What strikes her is that Merrill considers her a friend, someone she wants to keep seeing, someone she thinks is worth trying to preserve this friendship with. Orana doesn't know what to think. Instead, she mumbles something about needing to go and scurries off, away from her confusion and the blood mage causing it.

~

For the next week, Orana finds Merrill in the garden or wandering around the house with a watering can. She tries to avoid her, Merrill, somehow always noticing her and simply waves before continuing her routine of looking after the plants. Orana waves back, timidly, then scurries out of the room. 

Master Hawke and Master Anders return in the middle of the week, Master Anders more than unhappy that Merrill is here. Master Hawke calms him, unable to deal with another fight. Merrill takes the hint and quietly leaves before anymore upset can be caused. She does promise however, that she'll be back to check on Master Hawke at some point. With that she leaves, with yet another wave to Orana.

The week goes on, Master Hawke mostly in a daze. His brother comes to visit, Orana unaware Master Hawke even had a brother. Bodahn proceeds to tell her there was a sister once too, yet she was lost in the escape from Ferelden to Kirkwall. Suddenly, Orana feels very sad for Master Hawke, he's lost so many and yet manages to cope. When she had just lost her father, her world felt as if it had come to an end, she didn't know what to do. It was with the help of Master Hawke, Mistress Hawke, Merrill, Bodahn and his son that she learned how to carry on. And now, now that Master Hawke is suffering, trying desperately to keep it hidden that he is not made of steel, that he is human, she wants to help him.

The task of arranging Mistress Hawke's funeral falls to Master Hawke and his brother, Gamlen taking very little to do with it. They ask Gamlen if there is any jewellery around the estate, funeral jewellery, and he tells them he thinks he gambled it away. Master Hawke is furious, however Master Carver is there to calm him. They go to Mistress Hawke's room and check there, Master Hawke remarking he's tempted to shake down people in the hope of finding it. Master Carver only sighs and comments he wishes it were that easy. 

They find nothing in the room, Master Hawke locking it tightly without a glance back towards it. Master Carver says nothing and merely directs her back to her own quarters, there's nothing for her to do here. 

The funeral is held in the Chantry a week later. All of Master Hawke's various companions turn up for it, a lot of the guards as well. Master Hawke remarks he's sure Aveline threatened them to do so. Bodahn points out which one is Aveline and Orana feels her stomach drop. The woman appears terrifying, done up in armour, very stern looking and not someone she wishes to get on the wrong side of. She looks around the rest of Master Hawke's companions, Fenris, she recognises from being around Mistress Hadriana's estate, the others have come and gone at various times. 

She notices Merrill cast the odd glance towards her, then look away when she sees Orana looking back. She too looks away, fixes her gaze on the front of the building when the service begins. It is beautiful, Master Hawke and Master Carver have taken the time to ensure their mother receives a good send off, every little detail thought of and that extra bit of effort needed to cover it. They return to the estate, Master Carver trying to convince Master Hawke to get up and say a few words about Mistress Hawke. He refuses outright, the wound is too fresh and Orana understands only too well how he can be feeling.

Everyone leaves, including Master Anders at Master Hawke's request. No doubt Master Anders will return to his clinic, his patients wondering just where he's got to for these few hours. It is only Orana, Bodahn, Sandal and Master Hawke in the house now. 

Master Hawke stands at the fire, staring into the flames, once in a while looking up to the window in the hall. Orana chews on her lip and debates whether to approach him. She takes a deep breath and does so, in the hope she can provide some amount of comfort to him.

"Master Hawke?" she says and waits until he acknowledges her. "Is there anything you need?"  
Master Hawke shakes his head. "No, no, I'm fine Orana. At least as much as I'm going to be."  
"She would be proud of the service, Master Hawke. You did such a good job of arranging it."  
Master Hawke turns to face her completely and for a moment she wonders if she's said the wrong thing. "You think so?"  
Orana nods. "I do."  
"You know Orana, I don't know how you manage it. You lost your father, taken from your home and dropped in a foreign place to work for another mage." He turns away. "I envy that. You took it all in your stride and here I am, wallowing."  
Orana shakes her head quickly. "No Master, you are not wallowing. You're doing the best you can and that's all anyone can ever ask of you."  
"Truly? Then why does it never feel as if it's enough?"  
Tears well up in the corners of her eyes. "It is, Master. It was horrible, horrible accident that took Mistress Hawke. You did all you could and I know she'd never blame you." She bites her lip, in an attempt to stop the tears long enough for her to continue. "Mistress Hawke was always so proud of you, and she was forever grateful for buying this estate. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself Hawke, and I know it's hard now. It will be for a while to think of her and the house will never be quite home without her in it." She takes another deep breath. "You will cope, Master Hawke. You're strong enough."  
By this point, Master Hawke is staring at her open-mouthed. A smile slowly makes its way across his face, the first she's seen since Mistress Hawke died. He nods, equally as slowly then walks over to her. He puts a hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "Thank you, Orana. I think that's what I needed to hear."

He leaves the room, Orana left alone in front of the fire and she too leaves, returning to her own quarters for the day.

~

Orana turns out to be right enough. The house does not feel quite like home without Mistress Hawke there. Master Hawke attempts to return to normality, taking jobs from the guard captain, Aveline as Orana has now learned. When he returns home however, he calls for Mistress Hawke and the disappointment on his face when he realises she is not coming, is almost crushing to behold. 

She too attempts to return to normality, continuing with her normal chores and going out shopping whenever she's needed. She notices the plants are needing a water and reminds herself to do it when she comes back from the market. When she does return, after putting away the shopping and gathering what she needs to tend to the garden, she finds Merrill already there.

She glances away, in two minds whether to stay or go. Merrill stands up and wipes her hands.  
"Do you want me to leave?" she says.  
Much to Orana's own surprise, she shakes her head. Instead she hands Merrill a watering can and kneels down on the ground herself to tend to the plants.  
"They're coming along nicely, you've been doing a good job of looking after them since..." Merrill halts and doesn't finish. She casts a glance to Orana.  
Orana simply nods. "Since Mistress Hawke was killed." Saying it out loud brings a lump to her throat and tears to her eyes.  
Merrill downs her tools and scoots closer to Orana, one hand on her shoulder. Orana looks at her and her face crumples. "Merrill? I miss her..."  
Merrill pulls her into a tight hug. "Oh you silly thing, you've not even grieved properly for her, have you?"  
Orana shakes her head.  
Merrill lets her cry into her shoulder for as long as she needs, then takes her inside for some tea. There, Orana talks at length about Leandra, how kind she was to her and just how much she really does miss her. When she's finished, she looks to Merrill and doesn't quite know what to expect from her. All this time she has avoided the Dalish elf and it is Merrill who provides the most support.  
"Thank you," Orana says, diverting her gaze away, wiping her eyes and face.  
Merrill smiles at her. "You're welcome. Do you want to go back outside to the garden?"  
Orana nods and stands up. She follows Merrill outside and this is how Master Hawke finds them hours later. He says nothing, only aiming a small smile in Orana's direction and she knows he approves. They continue to work in the garden until dark, when Merrill leaves and Orana returns to the house.

~~~


	6. Chapter 6

It's late at night when the two of them call, Aveline and who Orana has learned is Isabela, the closest person Merrill has to a best friend. Orana lets them in and shows them to the hall then goes looking for Master Hawke. Unsurprisingly, he isn't here and nor is Master Anders. She returns to the hall to relay this information only to find Aveline has gone looking for him as well.

"Master Hawke isn't here right now. If you'd like to wait for him I can prepare you something to eat or drink," she offers.  
Isabela shakes her head. "It's all right sweet thing. I'll hang around for Hawke, whenever he decides to show up. Though I daresay with Lady Manhands out there he might think twice about coming back." She winks at Orana and the elf feels her face grow scarlet and she diverts her gaze.  
"O-of course, Mistress Isabela."  
Orana turns to leave and return to her duties, as fondly as both Merrill and Master Hawke speak of Isabela, it still makes her nervous being around new different people.  
"Hold on," Isabela calls and reaches out to stop her leaving. "Wait, you're the one that Merrill's taken a shine to, aren't you?"

She blinks. "I'm sorry?"  
"Merrill, you know, the elf with no sense of direction and can't stop talking about how wonderful you are and how good of a friend you've been to her. Which I quite appreciate, by the way. Maker knows she could do with some more friends in the city."  
Again, Orana goes scarlet and she says nothing.  
"She hasn't said anything to you, has she?"  
Orana simply shakes her head.  
"Oh. Well I suppose now you know." She is about to say something else when the door opens and closes and both can hear Aveline's voice and Master Hawke. Isabela strides towards them while Orana takes this opportunity to go back to her duties.  
~  
It's the early hours of the morning when the first explosions awaken her. They are distant, not in Hightown, however near enough to be heard. She rouses herself and goes to the windows. Outside the night sky is a deep orange, filled with smoke and when she opens the windows, there is the sound of battle and the smoke fills her nose. She coughs and immediately shuts the window again.  
Putting on her housecoat, Orana leaves her quarters, heading up through the estate into the main hall. The estate is empty save for Bodahn, Sandal and herself, Master Hawke and Master Anders nowhere to be found. She freezes when she hears the main doors open and close, then dives into the shadows. There she waits.  
"Orana? Are you here?"  
It's Merrill.  
Orana leaves her hiding place and steps into Merrill's line of vision.  
"Oh you're all right," she says and rushes over to her. "Thank the Creators." Merrill pauses and holds her at arm's length. "You are all right, aren't you?"  
Orana nods. "I'm fine Merrill." She looks up at the window when both hear another crash from outside. "What's happening?"  
"The Qunari have attacked Kirkwall. Hawke has gone to deal with it, but I haven't heard anything since. Has he been back here by any chance?"  
Orana shakes her head. "I haven't seen him, only briefly when he left with Mistress Aveline and Mistress Isabela."  
"Do you mind overly much if I wait here with you? The fighting is heaviest in Lowtown and I'm not sure if I can find my way back with all the fires." Merrill then shakes her head. "And I'm not about to let you guide me back, not with all this fighting going on."  
Well, that's her told. Orana sighs and moves into the main hall. "Do you want some tea while we're waiting then?"  
Merrill nods and follows Orana to help her with it.  
~  
They hear them long before the door is thrown open and Master Anders can be heard arguing with Mistress Isabela. Both Orana and Merrill go into the hall and find Mistress Aveline and Master Anders carrying a bloodied, unconscious Master Hawke. A dwarf is there also, Master Varric Orana guesses this to be, while Mistress Isabela follows on behind.  
It takes a moment for Master Anders to realise they're standing there, and when he does, he fixes Merrill with a glare. "What's she doing here?"  
Merrill frowns in return. "I came to see where Hawke was and ended up keeping Orana company."  
"Well you've seen, please leave."  
"It's not your house. You have no right to throw me out of here!"  
Master Varric is quick to interrupt before a full blown argument can break out. "Blondie, I think we've got bigger problems to deal with than just Daisy being here."  
Master Anders glares once more then takes Master Hawke up into the master bedroom.  
Once he's gone, Merrill lets out a large sigh. "Thank you Varric. What happened out there?"  
"Hawke decided to challenge the Arishok and well, you saw how that turned out," Varric tells her.  
Orana's eyes widen. "He's dead?"  
Varric shakes his head quickly and raises his hands. "What? No, no. Hawke won. The Arishok and the Qunari are gone."  
Orana breathes a sigh of relief. She knows she could not deal with Master Hawke dying too, not so soon after losing Mistress Hawke.  
"But why would they decide to attack now? They've not bothered before," Merrill says.  
"I'll tell you later, kitten," Isabela tells her, before Varric can answer.  
Orana takes this chance and creeps away from the group. She heads up to the master bedroom and knocks quietly on the door. There she waits until it's thrown open by Master Anders, the mage rather clearly ready to shout at someone for the interruption. On seeing Orana there, he sighs.  
"I'm sorry Orana, I thought it might be someone else," he says. "Everything all right?"  
"Yes, Master Anders. I wondered if you needed some help dealing with Master Hawke," she answers.  
He nods and steps out of the way to let her in.  
Master Hawke is laid out on the bed, surrounded by bandages, empty bottles of lyrium, bowls of water that are full of blood and several needles and thread. Orana approaches the bed and gasps when she sees the extent of the wounds. There is a hole in his shoulder and stomach, bruises just starting to bloom on his body and various other cuts and scrapes. She takes a breath, picks up the nearest bowl of bloodied water and goes to refill it with fresh. When she returns, Master Anders is already at work once again.  
Orana works in silence, handing Master Anders bandages and changing the water when he needs it. She hands him bottles of lyrium when he begins to close the more serious wounds with magic, then threads the needles to save him some time. They finish and Master Anders flops down into a chair next to the bed.  
"There, I've done all I can and he's out of danger. We just need to wait for him to wake up now," he tells her.  
Orana nods. "Do you want something to eat or drink, Master Anders?"  
Master Anders simply smiles at her, a tired smile and she can tell he wants nothing more than to go to sleep right there. "Would you? I can't remember the last time I've eaten."  
Orana gets up and heads to the kitchen. She's sure there's some stew and crusty bread left she can heat up. She avoid the rest of the group for the time being, concerned simply with Master Anders and Master Hawke, no doubt they'll have questions about Master Hawke's recovery when she does see them.  
She returns to the master bedroom and hands Master Anders the warm stew, some bread and tea.  
"You're a gem, Orana, thank you." Master Anders takes the plates and cup from her. "I'm sorry for shouting at Merrill, I know you're fond of her."  
Orana blinks then shakes her head.  
"I simply don't trust her, not with the blood magic and I daresay you'll have seen so much more of it than what I ever will. I'm trying so hard to make people listen, that mages are not all dangerous, then you have blood mages who give us all a bad name."  
"I know your cause means a lot to you, Master Anders."  
Master Anders sighs. "Yes, it does. And I'm sorry to ramble on to you, I doubt you have much interest in it."  
Orana stays silent.  
Master Anders finishes the stew and Orana takes the plates from him. "Is there anything else you need?" she asks.  
Master Anders shakes his head. "Nothing else. You might as well head back to bed, see if you can't sleep. I'll bed down here for the night and keep an eye on Hawke."  
Orana nods and leaves the room.  
When she finally returns to the main hall, she finds Fenris there as well as the rest of the group. He catches sight of her and drops his gaze, avoiding hers completely. Orana takes no offence to this and politely nods to him. She relays Master Hawke's condition to them and this at least eases their worries. Master Varric suggests they return to their homes, that it has been a long night for them and they agree. Merrill however hesitates.  
"It'll be fine Merrill, Master Anders will let you in to see Master Hawke," Orana tells her.  
"You don't want company? I'm not sure I can sleep after all the goings on tonight," Merrill answers.  
With a glance to the upstairs, Orana nods.  
She sets up a spare room for Merrill that the Dalish elf insists she share with her rather than her own room and Orana makes more tea for them both. It is Orana who falls asleep first, forgetting to make a bed for herself on the floor of the room, and when she awakens, she finds a blanket thrown over her and a pillow under her head.  
Several days pass and Merrill comes and goes for the most of them. Master Anders says nothing to her, doesn't even meet her gaze when Merrill greets him. Master Hawke takes the majority of three days to awaken and when he does, he immediately complains about being bed-bound. No amount of begging or pleading moves Master Anders to let him wander around the house, and when he is sure that Master Hawke simply needs time to recuperate, he returns to work at the clinic.

~~~


	7. Chapter 7

In the time it takes Master Hawke to recover entirely, Merrill comes around almost every day to help Orana with her duties in the house. It seems to have fallen to her to keep Master Hawke company and knowing this, Merrill helps out where she can. Relations are still frosty between Master Hawke and Merrill however, Merrill very seldom actually conversing with Master Hawke yet neither wish to upset Orana. She can tell things are strained however, after his refusal to help with the Eluvian, something Orana has heard very little about since.  
When Merrill doesn't show up for several days, Orana becomes worried. Despite that Merrill is most likely fine and perhaps has something else to do, Orana wishes to see her. She has become so used to Merrill's presence around the estate that it is odd not to see her there.  
She takes her leave, Master Hawke able to entertain himself for a few hours, or the dog will keep him happy, one of the two, and heads for Lowtown.  
The city is still recovering from the Qunari attack. The people she passes are all in the various stages of trying to piece everything back together. The debris from the attack is slowly and surely being cleared away, however when she heads to slums and the Alienage, she sees signs of looting. Orana hurries through the streets and makes her way to Merrill's home. She knocks on the door, waiting patiently for it to open. When it doesn't, she becomes even more worried.  
"You looking for the Dalish elf?" someone calls over to her.  
Orana jumps, then turns around. She nods to the elf who has just shouted.  
"You've missed her. She left a few hours ago, don't know where she's gone."  
"Oh. Thank you for telling me."  
She leaves the Alienage and returns home.  
~  
Another few days pass and Merrill does not appear. Orana leaves it a second day before she tries Merrill's home again. This time she does receive an answer. Merrill opens the door, appearing tired as if she hasn't slept from the night before. There are bags under her eyes and her smile in greeting doesn't reach her eyes.  
"Hello Orana, I wasn't expecting..." she trails off. "Oh. I was supposed to come and help you again, wasn't I? I'm sorry, I just got caught up with some things here."  
Orana raises both hands and shakes her head. "No, it's all right. I just wondered if you were all right was all."  
It takes Merrill a moment to realise she hasn't even invited Orana in and she steps out of the way to do so. "I've been working with the Eluvian again, I thought I'd found a way to restore it."  
Orana frowns at her. "But I thought you couldn't..."  
Merrill shakes her head. "There is a way, there has to be. The taint is cleansed, I know it is. If I can just get it going somehow then..."  
Orana still frowns at her. "Merrill. When did you last leave the house?"  
This stops her. "I...I'm not sure. I think I had to go shopping..."  
"Did you?"  
"I can't remember."  
Orana goes over to the cupboards and checks them. Every one of them are all but empty, dust rings around where there used to be jars and boxes. She closes the doors and goes to get a basket from the living area. She hands it to Merrill and loops her arm around Merrill's, almost dragging her to the front door.  
"I'm taking you shopping," Orana tells her.  
"But I...The Eluvian..." Merrill tries to protest, only Orana isn't listening.  
"No buts. We're going shopping for some food." With that, Orana drags Merrill out of the door.  
Orana takes Merrill to the market and they go around the stalls together. More than once Orana notices Merrill glancing the way they've just come and trying to head back to her home. She stops her, distracting her with something on one of the stalls. Eventually, Merrill is resigned to shopping and begins to enjoy it, chatting with Orana the rest of the way around.  
Hours later, they return to Merrill's home, arms filled with bags and bundles. Orana helps her put everything away then Merrill prepares tea for them both. They sit and chat, Merrill asking how Master Hawke is getting on, how Orana has been coping the last few days without her and if Master Hawke has driven her insane yet. Orana laughs and answers he's not that bad. They lose track of time and it's not until they notice how dark it seems to have become that they realise just how long they've been there. Merrill gets up, grabs her ball of twine and takes Orana back to the Hawke estate.  
~  
This becomes Orana's routine over the next few weeks. In an attempt to get Merrill out of the house, she begins to make a point of asking her to help with things, trivial things that both know Orana is more than capable of doing on her own. Merrill is there every time, dragging herself away from the Eluvian that seems to be taking up more and more of her time. Each time she does so, Orana notices just how tired Merrill looks, the dark circles that become that bit more prominent, the times she almost drops off at the table when they return from the market or simply sitting at a table with tea. It makes Orana worry and she wonders just who else has noticed.  
After another several days verging on almost a week pass, and Merrill does not leave her home. Orana knows this from briefly speaking to Master Varric and he mentions she did no turn up to their weekly Diamondback game at the Hanged Man. He mentions she did not turn up to the last one either, despite Merrill telling Orana she'd consider it. 

She finishes her duties for the day, packs a basket of sandwiches, fruit, bottles of water and other fruit juices then heads out to the Alienage as usual. Master Hawke spots her and calls for her to wait. She does so.  
"Are you going to see Merrill again?" he says.  
Orana nods. "Yes, Master Hawke. Master Varric told me she hasn't been to the Diamondback games for a couple of weeks."  
Master Hawke nods too. "We're worried about her Orana, you're about the only one who's seen her on a regular basis this past while."  
Orana frowns. "I thought she was doing some jobs with you?"  
Master Hawke shakes his head. "I asked her along but she didn't appear. She's been too busy with that damn mirror. Can you let me know if she's all right?"  
Orana nods once more. "Of course, Master Hawke."  
She leaves a moment later. It doesn't take her long to get to the Alienage, she's been there so many times her feet are on auto-pilot. She reaches Merrill's home, knocks on the door and waits patiently for an answer. It takes Merrill a few minutes to open the door to her and she appears more weary than ever. Her eyes are bloodshot and on opening the door and seeing Orana there, Merrill squeezes her eyes shut and opens them again.  
"Hello Orana, was I to help you with something today?" she greets her and steps out of the way to let Orana in.  
The house is untidy, books strewn around, plates and other dishes piled high on almost every surface. Orana thrusts the basket at Merrill, heads to the piles of dishes and starts collecting them, placing them in the sink.  
"What are you doing?"  
"What does it look like? I'm tidying!" Orana answers, not looking at Merrill. She puts more plates in the sink, somewhat harder than intended, then goes to make a start on the library of books. Here Merrill stops her and guides her to the couch.  
"Orana, what's wrong?"  
"You! You're hiding away in here and making everyone worried! You're exhausted from studying that thing all the time."  
Merrill goes over to a mirror in the main living area and stares at herself for a few moments. "Did someone say something?"  
"Master Varric said you've missed Diamondback and I'd guess you haven't been out shopping since the last time I was here. He's worried Merrill, so is Master Hawke." Orana lets her head drop and stares at her lap. "And me."  
Merrill sighs loudly and sits back on the couch. She takes Orana's hands in her own and lifts her head. "I'm sorry I've worried you. I'll try and spend less time studying the Eluvian..."  
Orana shakes her head. "No. Promise me Merrill. You look worse every time I come and see you."  
Merrill blinks, a frown forming.  
"I don't want to see you get hurt. What if Master Hawke asks you to come along to a job and something happens to you?"  
Merrill shakes her head. "Orana I'll be fine." She can see Orana is not convinced. "Really, I will. How often does Hawke take me with him now? Not very, I'll tell you that."  
This does nothing to satisfy her. "And what then? You can spend even more time being a shut-in?"  
Merrill's frown deepens. "Orana, I need to fix the Eluvian, I need to. I didn't come all this way and spend all this time just to give up now."  
"And how much have you lost because of it?" Merrill stops and the realisation seems to dawn. Orana, gathering her courage from somewhere, continues, "You'll lose more if you keep on like you are. You'll lose yourself and I don't want to see that happen. I don't want to lose my friend."  
Merrill's expression softens completely and she hugs Orana. "I didn't know you were that concerned..." She lets Orana go, yet still keeps hold of one hand, something Orana notices. "I'll not spend as much time studying the Eluvian and try and go out more."  
"Promise me, Merrill. Please?"  
Merrill nods. "I promise."  
Already Orana has made up her mind to ensure Merrill sticks to this and while they eat the food she has brought with her, all but forgotten until now, she tries to devise various ways of doing so.

~~~


	8. Chapter 8

As the months go by, Orana watches the changes that happen around her. Where once Master Hawke and Master Anders were inseparable, Master Anders now retreats to the study almost every night. She watches Master Hawke try and persuade him out, coax him with promises of large dinners, yet none of this works. This of course causes a fair few fights between them, Master Hawke upset he is losing his lover, Master Anders now so wound up that he doesn't seem to care. She knows he does, few and far between times he approaches her, requesting a meal to be heated up for him and he speaks to her of his regret at hurting Master Hawke. She says nothing, there is nothing she can say he has not heard already. Instead she simply offers an ear to listen and Master Anders is more than grateful for it.  
Things are no better for herself and Merrill. For all her promises, Merrill still obsesses over the Eluvian. It is for Orana's sake alone that Merrill looks after herself better, and Orana is sure it is only because Merrill wishes for a quiet life. She continues to visit on a weekly basis, now having made it her mission to ensure Merrill does not end up in the state she has previously been in. She becomes even more concerned when she hears Merrill talking to herself, not often and only briefly, yet still enough to worry her. Whenever Orana asks of this, she is fobbed off with stories and excuses.  
Merrill still does not join Hawke very often on his jobs, nor does she go to the Hanged Man, something Varric notices and he too begins to visit Merrill. While Varric theorises that Merrill is missing Isabela ever since she disappeared, Orana has to wonder if this is another excuse for her to stay indoors. She doesn't question her, knowing she will get no real answer from Merrill and quietly adds it to her ever growing list of worries.  
While Orana finishes off her chores for the morning, another argument brews in the background. Master Anders has spent yet another night in the study and Master Hawke has just discovered him. They've been coming to head, these arguments, each one worse than the last, each one leading to Master Hawke storming out of the house.  
When finished, Orana sneaks out of the house, heading towards the Alienage as she has been doing for the past two and a half years. Her visits have continued, still in the hope that she'll find Merrill feeling better and not in her bedroom, staring at the Eluvian. She keeps her head down, passing through Lowtown as quickly as possible and reaches Merrill's home quickly. She knocks on the door, receives no answer and finds it open already.  
Merrill is nowhere in sight. Orana sighs and heads straight for the bedroom. There, she finds Merrill asleep, surrounded by various books. Orana pulls the cover up, brushes some hair away from Merrill's face and simply sits for a few moments.  
For once Merrill does not look troubled and she is grateful at least that the Dalish elf finds some peace in rest. Orana stands up again and begins to tidy the books, being careful not to lose any of the bookmarks placed in them. She wanders into the main living area, checks the cupboards to make sure there's food in them, which of course there isn't any. She makes a list then prepares some food for Merrill waking up.  
She stops mid-way through on hearing noise coming from the bedroom. As she's about to approach, Merrill appears, her hair sticking out all over the place, and she rubs hers, squinting at Orana.  
"Oh, I didn't hear you come in," she says. She yawns and stretches, giving her eyes another rub.  
"Your door was unlocked, I didn't want to wake you," Orana tells her.  
"I hope I didn't make you wait for too long."  
Orana shakes her head. "Do you want tea? I was just about to make some."  
Merrill smiles at Orana and nods. "That would be lovely, thank you."  
Merrill yawns again and sits down on the chair, Orana appearing a moment later with two steaming cups in her hands. She places one down in front of Merrill then sits down across from her. They sit in silence for a while, Merrill nursing her mug of tea, Orana sipping hers every so often.  
The house is untidy and Orana is itching to tidy it up and make it look presentable. She glances to Merril, gets up, and starts arranging things, putting other things away and tidying books away. She hears Merrill sigh and she sits down again.  
"I'm sorry," Orana says, at least having enough decency to blush.  
"Don't apologize Orana, not to me," Merrill tells her. She spins around in her chair. "I suppose it does need a bit of a spring clean."  
"I noticed you need to go shopping again."  
The subject is touchy, Merrill still seeming to take it that she's not looking after herself. Instead of arguing, she simply nods.  
"Why don't we go after this? The market should still be open," she suggests.  
Surprised, Orana nods and briefly wonders if there's an ulterior motive in Merrill being so agreeable. She dismisses the thought, she's being foolish.  
They finish their tea, Orana grabbing the shopping back and Merrill loops her arm through Orana's. They head for the market, Merrill on her guard all the way through Lowtown. Once they get there, Merrill lets go of Orana and wanders off to one of the stalls. Orana takes little notice and starts looking for the items of food Merrill needs. She makes her way through the market, filling the bag as she goes then turns to check on Merrill only to find her gone.  
Her heart sinks. She was there a moment ago, she was sure of it. Orana looks around frantically, heart beginning to pound. She hurries through the crowd and past several people before she catches a glimpse of Merrill's yellow scarf.  
"Merrill!" she calls and runs after her.  
Merrill either doesn't hear her or is not listening, so focused with whatever has her attention. Orana follows her through the streets, past the stalls and down an alleyway where she stops. She's looking for someone, Orana notices, clearly not her, Merrill knows she's there. Orana approaches and reaches out to touch Merrill's shoulder.  
"Merrill?"  
"I thought...I saw him Orana," Merrill tells her.  
Orana frowns at her. "Saw who?"  
"My clanmate, Mahariel. He came down this way and now he's..."  
"There's no one here. I didn't see any other Dalish in the market."  
Merrill's hopeful look crumples in a moment and there's tears in the corners of her eyes. "I was so sure...I thought he hadn't heard me. Oh Orana..." She sighs. "I just wish I knew what had happened to him and Tamlen."  
Orana gathers Merrill into a hug, choking back tears herself, then takes her home. She puts everything away into the cupboards, Merrill now holed up in her bedroom, talking to the mirror. She seems uncaring that Orana is right outside and can hear every word.  
Orana's worries have increased tenfold after this. She feels like crying on realising just how badly affected Merrill is, her fears confirmed that Merrill is now seeing things along with not looking after herself. She clenches her jaw, takes a deep breath, then leaves the house without Merrill noticing. There is little she can do now, Merrill will not listen, she knows this. Instead she heads back to the estate to formulate some kind of idea to help Merrill.

~~~


	9. Chapter 9

Orana is tired.

Physically and mentally, she cannot go on dealing with Merrill's descent into insanity. She cares too much to stand by and let it happen, yet she knows she's at her wit's end in terms of trying to help her. The only thing that seems to have cheered Merrill up is Mistress Isabela appearing from nowhere. If nothing else, Merrill has been going out more to meet with her friend, however she returns early for the gatherings, back to the house and back to the mirror.  
Things are no better between Master Hawke and Master Anders. Now virtual strangers, they say little to one another, despite it is clearly obvious they care for one another. It breaks Orana's heart to see, yet she feels as powerless there as she does with Merrill.

The main cause of strife seems to be the situation between mages and Templars in Kirkwall. With Master Hawke as the Champion of Kirkwall for saving the city from Qunari, this has caused Master Anders to call for more rights for mages. Surely, a mage saved the city, this should prove that they are indeed trustworthy. The Templars argue otherwise, claiming that this was an exception. it worries Master Hawke to no end, so convinced is he that Master Anders will meet his end at a Templar blade.  
It's another day of tidying for Orana. She has decided against going to see Merrill and is trying to build up the courage to speak to Master Anders. For all he is not very fond of Merrill, he is fond of Orana and first and foremost, Master Anders is a healer. If nothing else she hopes he can offer some advice on she can look after herself better, especially now she's recognising just how much it is taking out of her.

She knows Master Anders is at the clinic and when she finishes the last of her duties and puts away some food in the pantry to be heated up, she gathers her things and heads down to the basement. Master Hawke has already shown her this entrance and where the key is should she ever need it. She leaves the house and heads into Darktown from there. She finds his clinic without any problems and is lucky enough that Master Anders is not with a patient. He stands up, waves to her and gestures to the nearby chair.

"Hello Orana, is everything all right?" he says.  
Orana opens her mouth to answer, then stays silent and shakes her head.  
"What's wrong? Is Hawke all right?"  
Orana nods. "Master Anders, I don't know what to do..."  
Master Anders catches on immediately and sighs. "About Merrill you mean. What else can you do, she doesn't want to be helped."  
"I can't let her go on like this, I can't."  
"Orana. You can't help someone who doesn't want it. You'll just wear yourself out."  
"I know...I'm so tired Master Anders. I can't let Merrill go on like she is, but I know, I can't go on like this either. I want to help her but I know I can't. I know you're right..."  
"But you love her."  
Orana nods.

She recognised more than a year ago that she had indeed fallen in love with Merrill. When Master Hawke first took her in and she saw how he and Master Anders interacted, she had never seen displays of affection. Oh she'd seen it between some of the other slaves, and her Papa made sure she knew she was loved, however she'd never felt it herself. Not until Merrill came along. She began to feel something for her, yet had no idea what it was. On mentioning it to Master Hawke, he smiled and said she had a 'crush'. He was happy however, happy that she may have found someone.

"Orana, you need to look after yourself. Both Hawke and I have noticed how run down you've been and tired you looked. It'll take something drastic for Merrill to realise this and it's only then that you'll be able to help her properly."  
Orana sighs and nods. "What should I do then?"  
"Perhaps scale back your visits, it upsets you when you see her and when Merrill realises that, it'll upset her no doubt."  
"If I don't she'll starve herself. I know what she's like."  
"Do one last shop with her then, enough to set your mind at rest that she'll be all right enough. Instead of every week for example, every two weeks. You're basing your entire world around her Orana and that's not healthy. You need to live your own life and not spend all your time worrying about Merrill."  
Orana says nothing.  
"Orana," Anders says, "Promise me you'll at least try."  
"I promise, Master Anders."

She leaves the clinic and returns to the estate, now determined to take Master Anders' advice. She waters the plant Merrill gave her what feels like so long ago, wanders up to the library and picks up one of the books. Here, she catches Mistress Isabela swapping some of them for her 'friend fiction' she's heard so much about.  
"Hello Orana, I was just...um..." Mistress Isabela glances to the bookshelf. "You won't tell Hawke, will you?"  
Orana shakes her head.

"Oh good. I've only been back five minutes."  
"And yet you're falling into your old ways?" Orana says, a smile on her face. It's funny how Mistress Isabela can draw this reaction from her, that she feels so comfortable around her where once Orana would've been terrified.  
Isabela grins at her. "It wouldn't be the same if I didn't."  
Orana nods.

"Have you seen Merrill lately? I hear she hasn't been to the Hanged Man in quite a while."  
Orana opens her mouth to answer yes, then stops short.  
Isabela takes this as answer enough. "Not in a good way, is she? I'll see her myself then. If I can't talk her into a game of Diamondback."  
Good luck she feels like saying. She doesn't and lets Mistress Isabela out of the house afterwards.  
At first, Orana spends a few days trying to distract herself with her duties, making food for Master Hawke and Master Anders, then at times, listening to one or both rant about the other. She doesn't mind this, it means they're not bottling it up or taking it out on one another. Her thoughts however, travel to Merrill, how she's doing, if she's all right, if Mistress Isabela has seen her.

She finishes her duties for the day, now decided that she will indeed see Merrill. It has been more than a week, surely enough time has passed. She leaves the estate, heads to Merrill's home and knocks on the door. She hears a call from inside, assumes this is Merrill and goes into the house.  
"What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting you," Merrill greets her. She walks up to Orana and hugs her.  
This simple action is almost enough to undo her there and then. "I thought I'd come to see how you were."  
Merrill lets her go, stands at arm's length and Orana can see the dark circles, the tired smile, that despite how tired she is, it still reaches her eyes. This only makes her want to cry, Merrill is still genuinely glad to see her, even amongst all the chaos of the mirror.

"Do you want some tea? I think I've still got some from the last time you took me shopping," Merrill tells her and wanders over to the cupboard. "Oh dear, I was wrong. I seem to have run out."  
"How are you, Merrill?" Orana says and sits down on one of the chairs.  
"I'm well. Close to finally figuring out the Eluvian and why it won't work. I need to go back to the Keeper though and my clan, which I'm not looking forward to. I'll need to ask Hawke to come with me..." Merrill pauses and sees the stormy look on Orana's face. "What? Was it something I said?"  
"Yes! Yes it was! You're still obsessed with that damn mirror!" Orana yells. It's the first time she ever has done. "You're going to destroy yourself Merrill, and you expect me to sit by and watch you do so. I've tried to help you, Makers knows I've tried, but I can't try any longer. I can't help you." By this point, tears are coursing down Orana's cheeks. "I love you Merrill. I don't want to lose you, but I fear I'm going to if you keep messing with this mirror."  
Merrill appears shell shocked. Her eyes have widened and she is blinking slowly. She opens her mouth several times, only to close it second later, no sound coming out.  
"When you want to get better, come find me. Until then, I'll still visit, but not as much."

With that Orana leaves. Once outside, the sobs come out, loud and ugly and she covers her mouth. She returns to the estate, locks herself in her chambers and cries for the rest of the night.

~~~


	10. Chapter 10

Master Anders is indeed right that it takes something drastic for Merrill to change her ways, and it comes in the form of the death of the Keeper. Merrill comes to the estate asking for Master Hawke's help and while Merrill talks to her briefly, it is awkward and neither seem to know what to say. Orana feels her heart break, feels as if she's ruined everything by admitting her feelings. Clearly Merrill has just seen her as a friend all this time and never anything more. When she looks at Merrill, Orana wants to cry, she's lost her best friend.

Days after Merrill's visit, Master Hawke takes her aside. This immediately puts Orana on edge and she has to wonder what happened.  
"Master Hawke, is everything all right?" Orana says, when Hawke takes her into the study.  
He shakes his head. "Merrill."  
"What's happened?"

Master Hawke sighs. "Her Keeper's dead, killed by the demon Merrill has been talking with. She sacrificed herself to keep Merrill safe."  
Orana's eyes widen and her hands fly to her mouth.  
"Merrill's in pieces. She's not letting me or anyone else speak to her so I was wondering..."  
Orana nods. "Of course Master Hawke. I'll see her right away."  
"Thank you Orana."

Orana leaves the study, packs some food and tea for Merrill and leaves the house. She hurries through the streets, through Lowtown and into the Alienage. Her hand shakes when she raises it to knock on Merrill's door and she scolds herself for being so foolish. Merrill needs her, she needs a friend and Orana only hopes that she'll be able to do something for the Dalish elf.  
"Merrill? It's me, Orana," she calls.

The door opens a moment later. There stands Merrill, tear stains on her cheeks, eyes bloodshot and puffy and she greets Orana with a loud sniff.  
Orana throws her arms around Merrill's neck, only just holding back tears herself. Merrill hugs her back, face buried in Orana's shoulder. Orana lets her go and slides an arm around Merrill's shoulders, guiding her inside.

Orana brews up a pot of tea, pours Merrill a cup and sits next to her. Merrill stays silent, the tears still flowing. Orana thinks back to losing her Papa and feels the ever so familiar ache in her chest.

"Merrill, what happened out there? Master Hawke said..." Orana begins only to be cut.  
"I don't care what Hawke said!" Merrill answers, taking Orana aback. She shakes her head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just...I can't...She's dead Orana and it's all my fault."  
"No, don't think like that. All this time you've been trying to help your people."  
"And look where it's brought me. I'm alone Orana. The clan...they've disowned me, they'll kill me if I go back. If it wasn't for Hawke...I don't like to think what might've happened."

Merrill sniffs and wipes her eyes. "All this time you've been there for me and I've pushed you away so much. I'm so sorry Orana, I should've listened to you."  
Orana can only shake her head.

Merrill stands up from the chair, picks up her staff and makes for the bedroom. Orana follows her. She stands in front of the Eluvian, her back to Orana.

"I should've done this years ago..." she says and smashes the mirror. Orana cries out in surprise and takes a step back. Merrill drops the staff and sinks to her knees. "I don't know what to do now. I'm alone."  
"Stay with me," Orana tells her then quickly adds, "Just for a short while, until you feel ready to come back here."  
"Anders wouldn't have me there, even now he hates me." Merrill turns back to her, biting her lip. "Could you just...stay here, for a while?"  
Orana nods and sits down next to Merrill. Merrill leans into her, Orana putting one arm around her shoulders and there they stay.

~~~


	11. Chapter 11

For weeks, Orana goes back and forth between Merrill's home and Master Hawke's. Master Hawke gives her leave and tells her to take all the time she needs to help Merrill. Despite everything that's happened between them, Master Hawke still regards her as a friend and is concerned for her. Orana on the other hand, swallows her nerves and tries to ignore her feelings. She is there as Merrill's friend because Merrill asked her there, no other reason than that.  
For a while, she is glad to get out of the house. Things have declined so much between Master Anders and Master Hawke that it hurts to see. Where once they were so close, doing everything together, being there for one another, now they can barely stay in the same room. Master Anders shuts himself away every night, working on his manifesto while Master Hawke doesn't even try to persuade him out. There is nothing Orana can do for them, both have insisted they'll work it out on their own, however this has yet to come.

Orana packs a bag, taking some food, tea, more out of habit than anything else. Since the death of the Keeper and the destruction of the mirror, Merrill has begun to take better care of herself. Where once Orana would be bringing food and filling the cupboards just to ensure Merrill would indeed eat something, it is she who suggests the shopping trips to the market, Orana only too glad to oblige. They go at least once a week, spending an hour, more wandering the stalls, browsing the items on sale. Orana enjoys this and it reminds of her when she first met Merrill all those years ago, how Merrill used to be before the mirror took hold.  
She leaves in the early afternoon, passing a tired Master Anders on his way to the clinic. He gives her a smile, nods and leaves through the Darktown entrance. She waits a few moments then leaves as well. She travels through Lowtown, making her way to the Alienage. Merrill has warned her, as has Master Hawke, against taking this road. Both insist it is becoming far too dangerous, the situation with the mages growing more and more out of hand that too many have turned to blood magic. While Orana hasn't seen any blood mages, she has noticed the increased guard presence and more than once has she been escorted by Mistress Aveline to the Alienage as a precaution. It makes her wonder just how bad things have become, just how many mages have become so desperate that they consider blood magic as an option.

She reaches the Alienage, heads to Merrill's home and knocks on the door. There is no answer and she can't help but feel her stomach sink, immediately thinking the worst. She waits at the door, knocking on it once more. Still only silence greets her.

"Here, you! Are you the one the Dalish is expecting?" an elf calls over to her.  
Orana turns, sees the man approach and steps away from the door.  
"She's not in. Had to run some errand with a shem."  
Orana nods, her mind at least settled that Merrill is all right. Well, all right enough to accompany Master Hawke.  
"She told me to tell you that you were to just go in, she'd be back as soon as she could."  
"Oh. Oh, thank you. I'll just go inside then."  
The man mutters something and leaves.

Orana takes out the key Merrill had given her several weeks ago, unlocks the door and goes inside. The house is tidy and Orana begins to put the shopping she's brought away. It doesn't take long, Merrill's cupboards looking to be in a far healthier state than what she's seen them for a while. She looks up when the door is tried, then unlocked and Merrill appears there, looking slightly worse for wear.

"Are you all right?" Orana says, rushing to Merrill's side.  
Merrill nods and smiles at her. "Hawke had us hunting some slavers, good coin at the very least. It was Aveline who asked us to deal with it, makes a change from hunting down blood mages." She finally pauses for a breath. "Sorry, I'm babbling away here. Have you had tea or anything to eat yet? I promise we'll go to the market once I've got myself cleaned up."

Merrill's incessant talking at least assures Orana that she is not hurt and she moves out of the way to let Merrill get changed out of her blood-stained clothes.  
"Have you been here long?" she calls from the bedroom.  
"No, not really. I got here just before you did, have barely put the shopping I brought away," Orana answers. Already it is she who is making tea, opening the biscuits she's brought and putting them on a plate.  
"You didn't have to, I thought we were going shopping?"  
"Habit. I can't seem to help it."  
"I'll have a well-stocked cupboard then once we're finished." Merrill appears once more, in slightly less red clothes. She looks at the boiling kettle and sighs. "I should be the one doing that, you're supposed to be the guest. Go and sit down, I'll bring it over."

Orana goes to the small couch and sits down while Merrill pours tea for the both of them. She appears at Orana's side and hands her the cup, putting the plate of biscuits on the table nearby. She returns a moment later with her own tea and sits next to her.

"I've been meaning to thank you," Merrill says, taking a sip of her tea.  
Orana frowns slightly. "What for?"  
"For everything, really." She sets her cup down on the table and turns to face Orana. "You've been so kind to me, this past while, for more than what I've deserved. I'm so sorry to have put you through that, to have been such a…difficult friend to put up with." For a moment, Orana thinks she's about to cry and she's right, Merrill does wipe her eyes.

Orana shakes her head and pulls Merrill into a hug. "Oh Merrill, you don't have to apologise. I'm just glad you're going to be all right now."  
Merrill too shakes her head and pulls away. "No, I do. I really do. I know how much you've been through these last few years, between being dropped in a new place with nothing but the clothes on your back, having to adjust to not being a slave any more. Then Leandra's death on top of it all." She sighs. "Then I go and make it all the worse by obsessing over the Eluvian for so long. I've been a terrible friend, you deserve so much better Orana and you're such a good person for putting up with it all and being there for me throughout."  
"Merrill…"

Merrill holds up a hand to halt her, puts her cup down, while Orana obeys and stays quiet. "I…also remember what you said before." A blush creeps across her face, reaching the tips of her ears.

Orana's eyes widen. "Merrill, it doesn't matter what I said before, I was upset…"  
"Orana, it does matter. It really does." Merrill takes a deep breath, blows it out and takes Orana's hand in her own. "You said something that took a lot of courage, and I ruined that by not paying any attention to it. I ruined what should've been a big moment for you, by…confessing what you did."  
Orana feels her heart shatter, Merrill doesn't feel the same. She clenches her teeth, swallows hard and tries to will the tears away that she feels stinging the corners of her eyes.

"I should've said something then, I shouldn't have left it so long, I…" Merrill pauses. "Oh, this sounded so much better in my head." Merrill acts instead. She takes Orana's face in her hands, moves forward and kisses her softly. Orana acts too, kissing back, harder, arms wrapped around Merrill. Merrill returns it, is the first to pull away, one hand still on Orana's cheek. "I love you, Orana. You've been…wonderful. I've known for a while now, just how I felt, I've just…never found the moment to tell you."

"I…never thought you'd feel the same." Orana smiles, turns her gaze away.  
"Of course I do! How could I not, you've been there where no one else was."  
Orana smiles once more and touches Merrill's cheek. "Slaves don't get to love anyone. I never thought, never imagined, that I could love, that anyone could love me, before now."

"Oh Orana, of course you're loved. Hawke does, Anders does, Bodahn, Sandal, me. All of us of Hawke's friends have come to think of you as their own, I know Varric does and Isabela." Merrill kisses her again. "Not as much as me, of course." Another kiss. "You're my best friend, of course I love you."  
Orana blushes. "So, where do we go from here?"

Merrill looks thoughtful for a moment. "With the Dalish, we call it 'bonding' after a couple have decided to stay together." She lets a smile appear. "When Hawke and Anders finally decided to be together, Hawke invited him to live with him in the estate." She pauses, shakes her head. "Anders wouldn't have me there, I know that and you, with how things have been, I'd worry for you staying here."  
Orana nods.

"Why don't we figure it out as we go, hm? We've muddled along so far, I'm sure we can work something out."  
Merrill kisses her once more, Orana wrapping her arms around Merrill's neck, pulling her back onto the couch. The tea is forgotten, left to go cold and when it gets dark, Orana stays the night.


End file.
